Volhar’s Week 1 Power Rankings

Top madden week 1 powerrankings

1 – Patriots-Fin has finally gotten the Super bowl monkey off his back but now its time to see if he can pull it off again. Of course like all super bowl champions fin decided the best way to repeat was to keep the… oh wait nevermind he traded major stars in John”my only redeeming quality on the base roster is im fast”Ross,Tarik “the midget” cohen and Stephon “i will never regress” Gilmore and ole Aaron rodgers got tired of winning super bowls and hung up the laces. Will the backfield of Thomas Jowers and star rookie running back Trey smart be enough to keep this team at the top of the league? idk maybe

2 – Panthers-Besides the questionable circumstances on how Mindfire made it to the super bowl, he still had a great season and with how young this panthers roster is, its only going to be better this year. Mindfire remains a strong choice to win the NFC, but with few upgrades in the offseason and noted team cancer Xavien howard signing in FA, the Panthers will have a tough road to returning to the super bowl with the cardinals, rams, packers and the cowboys when they arent a cpu to deal with.

3 – Packers- This roster is more juiced than prime Brock Lesnar and with a great player in Pest as the coach, it’s likely pest will be a favorite yet again to go deep in the playoffs, his main opposition will be his inclination to want to choke again like he did last year. That or losing half his team right before the playoffs to a covid infection from the Lions.

4 – Bills-The baby brother of the afc east, the Bills would have likely been in the super bowl if it weren’t for a few ill-timed special teams blunders in the AFC championship. The only real worry for a team like this is how many reps will noted dinosaur taysom hill get, he still has the speed to make plays but he’s about as effective at throwing the ball as prime kendall hinton.

5 – Cowboys-The NFC runner-up, Khalil may have lost some stud players with Zack Martin and Amari cooper going to the big trade block in the sky, but with Marlon Humphrey and JJ watt coming in to boost an already stout defence,along with other pieces like DT joe Toler and wr Darnell Mooney, the cowboys should be a strong favorite to win their division then flame-out in the wildcard.

6 – Cardinals-Many people questions danny’s choice to ship out star wr deandre hopkins out to desert and it did seem to bite him in the ass later on as star DT maurice hurst watched the cardinals lose in the playoffs from the sidelines as he was suffering from a severe case of being a bitch. After a tough loss like that the only clear choice was to add an absolute monster player in Stephon Gilmore, I may be putting Danny this far down on the list but he’s actually my choice to win the NFC this year assuming his roster doesn’t die again.

7 – Colts-after being the presumptive favorite to win the SB again, Warren ended up getting smacked by ricky instead, most gms may take this as a sign that major changes are needed but unlike some other players here, Warren is cool and collected and will be going into this season with almost the same roster but with more devlopment under their belt. JT will be the workhorse again and eason just needs to not suck ass in the playoffs and Warren should be back to making deep playoff runs.

8 – Eagles-Another noted playoff performer, donny also went out early this season. With two star oline retiring and longtime qb carson wentz sent to the steel city, donny will have to try and contend with uh only 12 ability players…. the big question mark is who will takeover at qb this year? Jalen hurts, and young qb Lane scott don’t inspire a lot of confidence and if they struggle, even Donny’s all pro roster may struggle to carry them.

9 – Raiders-Ptown is an enigma but with a star studded offence and a pretty good defence that added a new Superstar DE(YOURE WELCOME PTOWN I WAS GONNA TAKE HIM MYSELF BUT IM A NICE GUY) ptown should be another strong afc player, of course ptowns biggest addition this offseason was getting a real internet connection so he isn’t playing games like hes watching them on a tape delay.

10 – Chiefs- A strong player with an even stronger roster, Willie just needs to find some consistency to really start to dominate, if you cant take willie at his down 31-9 at halftime against broncos, you dont deserve him at him winning that game 52-31. also Wilder sucks he’s not percy overeem

11 – Rams-King believes in two things, a strong run game, and aaron donald smoking and rolling people on the daily. He’s been known to get the better of danny in their division rivarly but he’ll need to continue to keep pace with him as the nfc isn’t getting any easier.

12 – Texans-Finally deciding to be truly sim, Hellcat ran star qb Deshaun Watson out of town, however he actually got real assets back, so only 1/2 for being truly sim texans. This was already a good team and while losing watson may hurt the passing game and running threat, he still has a new young qb in Jayden Freeman to develop, and adding 3 new stars on defence with Greedy,DeVante Wilson and Braydon Bowers, this team may be poised to make an even bigger jump than last year.

13 – Steelers- even though most people would agree that I deserve to be number one on this list I decided to be fair and falsely lower my own ranking. This is a strong roster and now that they have a real qb who isn’t throwing with a 100 pound weight attached to their arm with big ben impersonator carson wentz donning the black and gold now,as well as adding star wideout Amari Cooper. This team should make a deep run as long as TJ watt isnt a pussy again and misses the playoffs with cracked ribs like really dude out for 4 weeks like grow a penis smh

14 – Ravens- With a down year from the team, Arlen decided to make some big moves and beef up the oline by acquiring super star guard Zack Martin from the dallas dc’ers, of course the price was Star corner Marlon Humphrey. Arlen knows how to play with his roster well to fit his needs so odds are he still does well and makes the playoffs but the loss of Marlon could loom large in a offensivly packed division like the AFC north

15 – Saints- Having a balanced roster without any real weakpoints like some other playoff teams, Jordan should take yet another one of the spots in the nfc playoffs this year, I’d add more but i honestly don’t know anything about the saints so I’ll just say that a wr with the last name McQueen should not only have 88 speed, like what a misnomer.

16 – Giants- Is Jsmoove really this good? Maybe not, but since I make the rules I’m saying Jsmoove deserves this spot and maybe even higher because he is indeed the real MVP. Anyway this is a solid enough roster and if Jsmoove can clean up his offence a bit to rely more on his two star TEs, he can really grind some people down with Saquon in the backfield. Bless up

17 – Dolphins-Allen decided that building rosters slowly is for pussies and made the monster move to acquire Deshaun Watson, this is as win now a move as you can make. While this defense may suffer with 3 starters leaving, this offence is as deadly as any in the league, and who knows, Maybe dillon Steele doesn’t get suspended this year(big doubt tho)

18 – Chargers- Shrimp is in the unfortunate situation of being in a talent rich division, user wise and team wise. He’ll have to make a jump in play this year to actually make the playoffs instead of just sitting at home playing madden with derwin james.

19 – Seahawks- If steel wants to make noise in maybe the best division in the league, he’s going to have to rely more on Lamar Jackson and get his stats up. Maybe try just doing 10 qb powers a game or something idk.

20 – Browns- With such a star studded roster with monster players like Myles Garret, Nick Chubb, and Henry Ruggs here, you would think this would be a super bowl contender, instead the browns are more of a eh i guess contender. Maybe this is the year jose turns it around and realizes his true potential, and normally I would say theres no chance, but the fact that I got added back to the league shows that truly anything is possible.

21 – Bengals- His offense may be a meme but it started to pick up serious steam as the season went on, this is a much stronger roster than people may expect going into the games so don’t be surprised if davey sneaks into the playoffs under the rader like the small rodent he is, i also wouldnt be surprised if this team is picking top 5 again tho so we’ll see.

22 – Broncos- With the biggest reveal since Rey Mysterio’s mask got taken off and he looked like he was some sort of overgrown baby, Josh aka zuchinni has made his long awaited return to the league, he may have suffered a heartbreaking collapse against the division rival chiefs, but with a roster stacked with talent, with some more playtime under his belt to shake off rust, josh could make some real noise as a contender to make in the 12-18 range in the first round.

23 – Vikings-Cory also made his return this season and while his win/loss may not show, he seems to have all of a sudden became a solid player, I wouldnt bet money on him making the playoffs but he most likely will remain a scary trap game for contenders not taking him seriously to start

24 – Niners-Ty has a really cool qb and some fun guys on offence but unfortunatly he has not paid his taxes to john madden so he remains snake bitten, he also falls in the cory range that while he may score some big wins, he will probably still remain a plebian

25 – Bears- I forgot about bears at this point but he signed a lot of people so maybe he’ll be good but i hope he sucks because it would be funny

26 – Falcons- Despite a few bright spots on this team, this remains one of the roughest rosters in the league, Coach Slammy mcslambucketman will have to step up his game especially on defence if he wants to try and claw out a spot in a stacked division

27 – Bucs- Honestly he should probably be above falcons but i forgot about him so oh well, he’s still got a talented enough roster to be a mid range team but unless he pulls a rabit out of his hat, he may be watching the post season from the coach yet again

28 – Jags- an extremely talented roster with another SS monster corner added to the team held back by a coach who can barely see his play calling sheet because of all the weed smoke that seems to follow him like he’s some sort of human smoke machine.

29 – Football team- Kyle is a strong player but with a big down year this season, it may be that he has finally started to regress in his old age, it may be that kyle has lost his passion for the madden game because of a newfound passion for the simp game, but it may also be that his division is more stacked then a brazzers shoot, eitherway get good scrub

30 – Titans-Pittjas has added even more talent to a good enough titans team, but he seems to struggle heavily to get into the playoffs with Warren lording over the division and Hellcat emerging this year, if Pittjas can ride derrick henry harder than the steelers did with leveon bell and try to slow down his division on offence, he could be a sneaky team, or could he be sneaky bad, unlucky

31 – Jets- Picking first overall with a new head coach, this jets roster added a new jamal adams replacement, but with a team that is talent starved compared to its peers, Gmoney may want to consider calling dibs on the first overall pick since he may be possessing it again this season

32- Lions- Unlike Masks being effective, vaccines, the moon landing, frogs being gay, and hillary clinton being a lizard person sent to devour the human race(ok maybe the last one is real) the lack of talent, both teamwise and user wise, on this team is real. The talent on this roster is about as inspiring as colonel custer trying to lead a last stand. But I want to be nice so I’m going to say something good about this upcoming lions season. Its good that the season is only 16 games long so tony can’t actually lose more games than that.

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